This Is For the Birds

I don't even know where to start, this is so upsetting, but I guess I'll start with the pinecone.




This afternoon I was lying on the back of the couch playing with mom's hair and knocking off her glasses (she wasn't paying enough attention to me) just minding my own business. Dad was in his chair playing with the other computer (mom won't let him touch hers anymore) and Kemper Kitty was out front with The Emily while she smoked one of those sticks that make her stinky. I'm pretty sure Uncle Jim and his Darla were out in the garage.



Suddenly KK comes running in the door shouting, "Grampa! Grampa! Come see this! I found a pinecone!" Grampa (dad) finally got up and went out to see what KK was so excited about. KK gets excited about some pretty odd things, it seems to me, for example this morning The Emily got him up very early to go out and look at the eclipse. (Dad woke me and mom up for it, too, but I refused to go out at that hour). KK told his mom that a toy came out of his room, took a rocket and a pair of scissors and cut the moon. (yes, sometimes he's a bit delusional)



Anyways, dad came back in a few minutes later and said, "Dear, (that's mom) you have to come see this." SO mom got up and went outside. I got up on the horse table and after knocking down two framed photographs, sat and watched out the window. KK was saying he found a pinecone. Then I saw mom lean over and carefully pick it up. It took her two times because the first time it jumped out of her hands. Yup, you heard it right, jumped.



Mom started into the house with what she had picked up cradled in her hands. KK was jumping around her like a terrier on speed. When he came in he was saying, "The bird came out of the pinecone!" He said it more than once, so I'm sure that's what he said. He said it over and over and over. I looked in horror at mom. She nodded at me... yes, it was a birdie.



So mom was thinking it was a sparrow and KK was jumping up and down and dad was looking for something to put the birdie in and The Emily was walking along saying, "Let's call it Breakfast!" Mom followed dad out to the garage because that's where all the stuff is they don't use much. Dad said to Uncle Jim, "I need to find something to put a bird in."



Uncle Jim said, "How 'bout a cat's mouth?" I really like him.



They rummaged around and finally found my soft cat carrier. That's where they put the birdie, in my cat carrier. I couldn't believe it. That's my carrier! It has my fur all over it and everything! But no, they put a stupid birdie into it. Jeesh.



Mom showed the birdie to Uncle Jim and he said, "That's not a sparrow, that's a dove." Mom made a face and said a medium-bad word. Ever since she was working and staying at a place with a fireplace (and a cat and a skunk and a rat), she hasn't been able to stand doves. We had some move into the neighborhood a few years ago and she complains about them all the time. I guess during that stay they nested in her fireplace and "coo-coo"-ed all day and night and it echoed down the chimney. She says it darn near drove her to drink.



So, she and dad and KK went to Petco where they got a huge can of birdie formula (mix it with warm water and feed it to the birdie in a syringe, no less) and a little cage and a couple of other little things. Dang, warm food? I'm lucky if I get soft food!



I already hate this birdie.



Then they put a heater in the cage, made a nest of towels and the birdie is sleeping in my bedroom. Yes, they've locked me and Smokey out. Shameful.



I think The Emily is on the right track with the name. But squab for breakfast just isn't done. I think we should call him "Brunch".\



I'll get them for this.



Hey, maybe Pumpkin can sit on it and hatch it!



Perry