Perry for President

Well, it's getting to be that time again, and I can see Rick Perry, that crazy Texan is getting ready to steal my slogan!  I've spent six years making the phrase "Perry for President" respectable.  Now all that seems to be going straight into the pooper.  

Even though I'm short haired, my fur does move in the wind.  I think that is more honest than lacquering up the old fuzz and gale-testing it.  Besides, you can't see all my colors unless my fur moves.  And Rick Perry is a Republican, of course, which means he has taken leave of his senses.  And in the state where rednecks still beat the crap out of queers, Rick Perry is woefully short of female companionship... just sayin'... 

He's being a religious man, holding massive prayers for rain and, no doubt, respectability.  But his brothers and sisters in faith are, putting it gently, rather out on the fringe of Christianity.  They tout sleeping with she-demons, natural catastrophes as gay punishment and other rather bizarre ideologies.  Nothing about cats, though, so that's a relief.  Plus, he wasn't including anyone but Christians in prayer day even though we have lots and lots of Judeo-Christian-Muslim believers (they believe in the same God) and others: Hindus, Buddhists, Wiccans, and all kinds of other pagans.  I personally am a reformed Quaker, but I can't stay quiet enough to go to services.  But, you know how cats are.

My main complaint about Rick Perry (besides the economic policy, the immigration policy, the education policy, the transportation policy, the energy policy and most of his other policies) is that he's using my name in vain.  Do you know how embarrassing it is to have neighborhood dogs coming to the door and you-know-whatting because they think I'm the Perry who does the stuff our governor does?  

It's positively mortifying.

So remember, there's Rick Perry and there's the Real Perry.  Yup, a cat is better than a weasel.

P

Too Hot For Bugs

Ok, we know it's hot and we know it's dry.  But here's some other things we've observed about the summer in Texas this year.


First: There's no bugs.  Nada.  Nicht.  You can drive for three hours in any direction from Amarillo and not hit a single insect.  We have yet to see mosquitos, grasshoppers, preying mantisses, crickets, or any other of the normal six legged fauna.  I don't think it's the spraying.  I'm not seeing them out in the country either,  And at night we have a little toad (The Emily thinks he's a Killer Toad) who has come out on our porch for the water and the moths and other bugs which buzz around the light at night.  Except, no bugs.  No moths, butterflies, June bugs, nuttin.  Yesterday we caught him eating ants.  Of course, there's always ants.  I think we're going to have to go to Petco and buy our little toad crickets just to keep him alive.


Second:  Mom and I went to Lubbock last weekend to see the exhibit at the museum on the Nazi euthanasia program.  It was very interesting.  What was even more interesting, however, was that although there was a shallow pool outside, there were no birds in evidence.  No birds in the water, no birds near the water, no birds on the lawn, no birds in the trees, no bird chirps or calls or other sounds.  I guess it's too hot for the birds, too.  Or maybe they already ate all the bugs and then starved to death.  I don't know.  Around home there's still those dang doves and a few other birds we see occasionally (mostly grackles), but for the most part, not very many.  Perhaps they are roasting in the trees.  Maybe when fall comes all we have to do for Thanksgiving is shake the trees and fully-cooked squab will fall out.  We'll just need to make the gravy.


Third: Mammals.  I hardly ever see other cats or dogs outside.  During the day it's so hot that they must be hiding in the shade of cars and bushes.  At dawn and in the late evening there are a couple of cats who come by because mom feeds them.  One of them is called "Slinky", a beautifully marked Calico.  She's sweet and affectionate and Kemper Kitty loves her.  And because there's rabies in the area, mom took her to the vet for her shots.  But she stays outside because we can't have another animal in the house.  Mom wants to let her in during the day, but The Emily hasn't bought her a flea collar yet, so she can't come in.  Mom would put her out at night.  The other cat is a ratty old yellow male.  His head fur is bigger than the rest of his body and it makes him look like a lion or a huge-headed mutant or something.  He has a nasty disposition and fights with Slinky.  He needs to be neutered, too, because his huevos are huge and he makes me jealous.  See a vet, Dude!  Spay and neuter makes you cuter!


Fourth: Lots of wild animals are coming into town to get water and food.  Skunks, the primary reason for the rabies outbreak, are getting in to people's trash and gardens and fighting with cats and dogs.  Who knows what else?  But I know from Aunt Barbara that if you see a skunk in the daytime, he's probably rabid.  You run in the house and lock the door.  Skunks can't reach the keyholes so they can't get in.  Thank God Aunt Barbara learned that.  She probably saved a lot of lives with that information.  However, she says, goats can open the doors, so beware of rabid goats!  But there are animals abandoning their young because they're too slow to keep up or parents don't have enough energy to feed them with smaller animals dying of heat and thirst.  We haven't seen any buzzards, either, so maybe the carcasses are too dry to eat.  Roadkill jerky?  You never know.


It's too hot for KK to go out and play.  It's dang hot.  But on the other hand, at times when KK could go out and play, no one wants to go out and watch him.  His mom sleeps and makes him stay in their room all day.  Mom takes him when she can but her back leg hurts and she may have to go to the vet to have a peg put on it.  I hope she gets a hardwood one.  I could use a good scratching post.  Especially one that moves where I do.  And mom will be a riot clopping around like a pirate!  Just needs a patch on her eye.  Hmmm... Maybe if I get up on the bookcase at night just before she goes to bed... WHIPSNAP CLAWS!


Avast matey!  Get me some grog... catnip grog!